


Bats on the Brain

by Rosencrantz



Category: Batman (Comics)
Genre: Alternative Perspective, Batfamily (DCU), Gen, Social Media, Timeline Shenanigans, Worldbuiding, warning: aquababy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-02
Updated: 2020-03-02
Packaged: 2021-02-27 18:34:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22980322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rosencrantz/pseuds/Rosencrantz
Summary: Starting from Dick's tenure as Robin, the social media of Gotham reacts to the line of Robins and Batgirls.
Comments: 9
Kudos: 79
Collections: Worldbuilding Exchange 2020





	Bats on the Brain

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Redrikki](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Redrikki/gifts).



> This is universe reboot agnostic. I start from Dick's career pre-crisis and just continue on with the lineage as if the reboots never happened. 
> 
> Since the general tech level of the DC Universe is so far beyond ours, I went a bit scattershot about what they'd actually be using for social media at any given time.
> 
> Thank you to Vali for the beta! Thank you to Morbane for the site names!

**TIME** : Dick has recently become Robin

 **WEBSITE** : Chirper

Jelanie Olsen @jolsen (verified)  
Finally got the live feed working! The Charity Date Auction for the Gotham Orphans foundation is underway and Gotham's rich and idle are looking like they were pretty idle getting dressed for this.

Jelanie Olsen @jolsen (verified)  
Selina Kyle is stunning, as always, in a dress that seems to have forgotten to end the leg slit. I very much hope for her sake there's no strong breezes.

Jelanie Olsen @jolsen (verified)  
The Mayor looks mighty smug for a guy who regularly gets kidnapped by a clown, as he introduces the eligible bachelors.

Jelanie Olsen @jolsen (verified)  
A lot of money spent tonight for the honour of hanging out with a guy who probably hasn't paid his workers a fair wage his whole life.

Jelanie Olsen @jolsen (verified)  
Oh! Bruce Wayne is up! This is actually his charity and I may be cynical but I can have little a Wayne for a treat. Did you know he's an orphan too? I guess everyone knows that.

Jelanie Olsen @jolsen (verified)  
Aw, he's putting in a plug for all the other Gotham foundations you can donate to that don't involve paying him to be your boy toy. Nice try.

Jelanie Olsen @jolsen (verified)  
There's something wrong with the sound on the feed. I can't make out how much they're bidding for him.

Jelanie Olsen @jolsen (verified)  
Wtf, that's not the feed. There are literally penguins walking around the crowd going 'wark wark wark'.

Jelanie Olsen @jolsen (verified)  
The penguins have machine guns.

Jelanie Olsen @jolsen (verified)  
Hi, if you just joined my livechirp, it does seem that a strange man in a tuxedo with trained gun-penguins has taken all of Gotham's rich people hostage.

Jelanie Olsen @jolsen (verified)  
I'm really torn here.

Jelanie Olsen @jolsen (verified)  
UPDATE: Stop piling on me I don't want anyone to die

Jelanie Olsen @jolsen (verified)  
Jesus

Jelanie Olsen @jolsen (verified)  
Oh my god! Some sort of hero has appeared! And YES, the feed is still going.

Jelanie Olsen @jolsen (verified)  
He's flying! And tying up penguins! And he's jumped on the guy with the top hat!

Jelanie Olsen @jolsen (verified)  
I just got to see what it looks like when a flying teenage boy dodges a row of machine gun bullets shot by a small antarctic fowl.

Jelanie Olsen @jolsen (verified)  
So that was what a teenage superhero (maybe he's a new Superboy?) taking on a pack of criminal penguins looks like. I've lived a good life. Stick a fork in me.

Jelanie Olsen @jolsen (verified)  
Selina Kyle has won the auction for Bruce Wayne.

 _Postscript_ :

 **GOTHAM GAZETTE** :

Headline: Bruce Wayne and Ward Dick Grayson visit Gotham Zoo's New Penguin Exhibit!

_Photo: Bruce and Dick posing nicely while some penguins (on the left) give Dick dirty looks_

* * *

**TIME** : One month after 'Killing Joke'

 **WEBSITE** : On NRC (Net Relay Chat)

CHATROOM: A buncha nercs // Capes, Cowls, And Pizza Toppings

[Asphodel] Hey, has anyone heard any reports about Batgirl lately?  
[Lumia] No, not really.  
[Kelly] Yeah, she used to be everywhere. That's weird.  
[Asphodel] I hope she's okay.

* * *

**TIME** : Shortly after 'Death in the Family'

 **WEBSITE** : Shared around FaceBoard

Mary Bellington Posted To Her Wall:  
SHARE IF YOU'RE SICK OF CHILDREN BEING PUT IN DANGER FOR ADULTS EGOS SOME OF YOU WILL BE TOO AFRAID TO DO THIS BUT THE 5% WHO WILL ARE THE TRUE HEROES  
4 likes, 2 shares

Lucy Bellington: ????  
Mary Bellington: Robin is DEAD. The Joker said so during his trial. That sicko Batman got him killed.  
Lucas Sanchez: is he…? Oh wow, i remember when he and his friends the teen titans came to save our town from a spanish conquistador. Thought it was weird that kids my age were out there working for the Peace Corps but they did the job. But he must be an adult by now. I guess he made his own choice.  
Mary Bellington: He never had a choice and now this child is dead. This isnt up for discussion  
Lucas Sanchez: he wasn't a kid we must have been the same age and i'm 23 now  
Mary Bellington: he was a child!  
Lucy Bellington: is there a body?  
Mary Bellington: he's DEAD. Children keep DYING in stupid vostumes!  
Lucas Sanchez: he wa a hero. I'm glad for what he did for my town  
Mary Bellington: Children aren't heroes, they're victims  
Lucy Bellington: yeah. I heard Batgirl was dead too.  
Lucas Sanchez: fuck

* * *

**TIME** : Shortly after the formation of Young Justice

 **WEBSITE** : Printsta

_Square image of a cellphone shot from a party with Young Justice_

CAPTION by Christofel: "Check it out! We're having this AMAZING Halloween party and Young Justice showed up!"

xxInez: DO YOU REALIZE WHAT YOU HAVE? PROOF ROBIN'S ALIVE  
Lolololo: Robin was DEAD?  
xxInez: Yehah like it was all over Gotham!  
OP Christofel: Well he's alive and he is NOT friendly. Do you know how hard it was to get a photo of him? Rest of them are kinda dicks too acutally.  
RequiemETA: WELL YEAH like oh we have superpowers oh we can fly yeah fuck you Robin. Glad you're not dead though.  
Lolololo: lmao 'yeah you're a dick but you can live'  
RequiemETA: Ive got a heart <3 <3 <3  
TextTube: So who paid them to show up? Who's their backer?  
xxInez: I NEED a better photo of Impulse. Get on that  
TextTube: Impulse is part of the Flash Squad that's funded by the government as heroes under their control theyre all criminals on death row they aren't our friends they aren't here to help us wake up  
xxInez: ok

2 Hours later  
OP Christofel: I take back everything I said about Robin. They saved us all. I nearly died of old age tonight!  
xxInez: were you a silver fox?  
OP Christofel: MY BACK HURT SO MUCH  
Daily Planet: Can we use this photograph? Full credit.  
OP Christofel: Pay me

* * *

**TIME** : After 'No Man's Land', after Cassandra becomes Batgirl

 **WEBSITE** : SwoopScoop, identified with its (copyrighted) BATSYMBOL WITH TARGET ON IT logo.

` _Images: Blurry photographs with dates over-top that correspond to No Man's Land, and then later when Gotham is re-established._ `

`These are NOT the same women. Note the body language - one is a brawler and weapons user judging by her stance and the other is a martial artist who conserves her movements.`

` _Images: The same photos with marks made on objects in the distance._ `

`They're not the same size. There's almost an entire foot of height difference between the two of them from this measurement. `

`Why are they wearing the Batsymbol? These are not Batgirl. `

` _Images: Picture of Barbara Batgirl with her hair and lower face exposed, swinging on a rope._ `

`Completely different figure and body language. Batgirl has been missing for years. Why would two inaccurate copies appear within short order of each other? Why do they look more like criminals than heroes?`

`There were reports that during No Man's Land that a Batgirl - presumably the larger who only features in photos from this event - was doling out vicious attacks on survivors. `

`We have exclusive sources saying that the new, smaller, Batgirl has also demonstrated violence towards the citizens of Gotham. She has not been seen with the Batman, Robin, or other known criminals of Gotham.`

`In fact, sightings have been incredibly rare. Who is she? `

`When we find out, we will tell you.`

* * *

**TIME** : Shortly after Damian takes the Robin role

 **WEBSITE** : BellBoard freeware forum

SUBJECT: LORGE ROBIN AND SMOL ROBIN

Topic by Cicero: _Single photo of Damian!Robin kicking Catman in the stomach, he's a fraction of his size._

Luddy: Omg, they shrunk Robin!

PSL: This is why you need to use the right rinse cycle for your Robin!

Keefer: For the record, here's regular flavour Robin compared to snack size here:

_Photo of Dick Grayson during the New Teen Titans era as an adult._

Luddy: Robins just keep getting younger every year. But they get pants now!

CockatooSilver: I didn't know five year olds were allowed out that late at night.

Cicero: I can't wait for our first toddler Robin

Keefer: Did you know there used to be a baby that hung out with Aquaman? I'm serious! There was a documentary about whales where they helped with a beached one. 

Luddy: awww an aquababy

PSL: Aquainfant

CockatooSilver: How long ago was this?

Keefer: I dunno, like ten years ago maybe?

CockatooSilver: must be AquawardPuberty now

PSL: go to the pun pen

GreenLanternsSecretLuvr: speaking of 'way back', I remember when everyone thought Robin had died 'cause the Joker admitted to it. Do you think they just replace Robins?

Keefer: Oh probably. I mean, I like to hope they just retire when they don't fit the costume anymore…

PSL: I was really into Stargirl until I realized she might be killed one day and then I just felt kinda bad

Luddy: I really wanted to be a Flash. I didn't understand what 'heavy water' was, so when I heard we had a problem with hard water at our house, I took so many showers to get powers. I was the least stinky teenager in the whole world. 

Cicero: Here, I photoshopped the Robins together. And I shall call him MiniMe.

PSL: Lol

Keefer: Lol

GreenLanternsSecretLuvr: I wonder why there's no Green Flashlight *edited*

PSL: QUOTE: 'I wonder why there's no Green Fleshlight'

OH I BET THERE IS

GreenLanternsSecretLuvr: you've forever tainted my sidekick idea

PSL: Your sinful, sinful hands did that.

GreenLanternsSecretLuvr: they are so very sinful

Luddy: seriously though I hope they just retire. Except the one who is probably dead.

Cicero: This one must have been recruited for getting the merit badge in Crime Fighting at the Boy Scouts. What comes before Boy Scouts?

Luddy: Beavers? 

Cicero: Or preschool

PSL: It's funny because he's so tiny.

* * *

**TIME** : After Stephanie became Batgirl, with the described costume.

 **WEBSITE** : GreenScreen viral video

_Keeping Up With The Capes: Guess Who's Back?_

Hey, viewers. Today's video is about an old favourite in the hero scene. She was never that big a hero, it's what she did afterward that made her really stand out, but people have a lot of fondness for her anyway. Was it because of her cupid-like costume? The fact she competed for us in the Summer Games? Or the fact that she walked away from the hero gig? 

Well, since we're talking about Arrowette, it better not be that last one, because she's back.

Check out this photo taken in Gotham last week. Robin and some girl in a Bat-costume - you know the style by now, guys - getting some of those sweet Gotham street vendor hot dogs that are probably at least 2% Joker Venom by weight. 

I want you to take a good long look at this Batgirl.

No all-over mask. Purple costume. Exposed face and hair. What can we tell?

Well, she's white. She's a blonde. And she's built exactly like Arrowette.

It's not easy to get a good look at her face, but here's the best comparison I could make of Cissie King-Jones, Arrowette, and this new girl's face. Pretty similar, right?

And you know who used to hang out with Robin? Cissie King-Jones. He even helped her out at the Summer Games.

Has she gone back to heroic deed-doing? Can you ever truly leave the life? Well, it looks like she couldn't, and she's back in tights with her old boyfriend. And you know what? I'm pretty sure she was that mysterious 'girl Robin' that appeared and disappeared a while back. Just a hunch.

Hit that like and subscribe button for more super-gossip!

 ** _Comments_** :

LillianHess: It was never proven she was Arrowette. I'm reporting this for spreading false information. _(posted 5 minutes ago)_

* * *

**TIME** : Now  
**WEBSITE** : Hellsite

**SLUT-FOR-NTH-METAL**  
  
Guys I made a meme GO FOR IT

**→SQUIDS-SQUIDS-THE-WONDERFUL-FRUIT**  


**→→DARKSEIDDIDNOTHINGWRONG**  


**→→→FUTURE-IS-GOLD**  


**→→→→STEP-ON-ME-WONDER-WOMAN**  


**Author's Note:**

> Specific comic references beyond the obvious:


End file.
